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Desert Adventure

. . . stories of adventures (and mis-adventures) in the land of the deserts . . .

Name:
Location: Dubai, United Arab Emirates

a daughter, a sister, a mother, a friend ...

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

You Harden There !!!

note: i received this from a forwarded mail ha...

NO OFFENSE TO GIRLS FROM OLONGAPO....

There was this Pinay named Maria who was born and raised in Olongapo City. She met her husband, John while he was stationed at Subic Bay Naval Base. Maria doesn't have an excellent command of the English language, but she and John manage to communicate. One day, Maria decided to cook a big dinner for John, so she called John up at work and told him to come home straight from work. John and his co-workers had been working long hours trying to finish up a project their admiral had assigned weeks ago, so they were excited to finally finish it. They decided to go to the ship's chow hall to celebrate.When John came home around midnight, he realized he forgot about the dinner that Maria had made for him.

As Maria came out of the kitchen, John began to explain.
"Honey, I'm really sorry. The guys decided to celebrate a little bit, so we ended up eating at the ship."
"Ah, like that, ha? I cook the house for you, you eat the ship!"
"Honey, I'm really sorry," begged John.
"Ahh! Don't sorry to me! From now, you do your do, I do my do! You harden there!"

[ Tagalog translation: Ah, ganon ha? Pinagluto kita dito sa bahay, kumain ka naman sa barko! Mula ngayon, gawin mo ang gusto mong gawin, gagawin ko ang gusto kong gawin! MANIGAS KA DIYAN ! ]

This is Maria's story. If you didn't find it as funny, oh well...YOU HARDEN THERE! He he he

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Greetings!


Wishing you all a season filled with all things Bright & Beautiful and a Joyful Easter filled with God's choicest BLESSINGS.....



Sunday, April 09, 2006

funny :)

this is a forwarded email and i want to share this to you guys.... just to put a smile on your lips :)

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
________________________________

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Duh.............
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?____________________________________________



And the best for last

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law!