a friend of mine came up one day and said: " i will be away for awhile - needs to do some soul-searching".... huh? si friendship ko mag soul-searching daw!?!?!?! hmm.. teka, ano na naman pakulo nito? sige makisakay muna... :D (ang maldita ko talaga ano? )
ako: why, what happened?
siya: i just need some time alone...need some thinking, i feel lost.
ako: (hmm lost daw?.. lost-mind maniwala pa ako!) pero siempre "good friend" ako (di ba?) asked ko: what do you intend to do? where to intend to go for your soul-searching?
take note si friendship seemed somewhat serious ha..kaya medyo i wanted to believe na my friendship is really in a state of "loss".
ako: talk to me.. what happened?
siya: nothing happened...i just wanted to be alone!
ako: (naku - baka something happened nga at magpakamatay ito - konsensiya ko pa!)
ako: (kulit ulit) .. we're friends di ba, i told you when you needed someone to talk to - i am just here.. ready to listen....
siya: basta.. i just wanted to be alone!
ako: eh what do you intend to do nga? where do you want to go?
siya: i feel like going home.... sa pinas.
ako: if you like i can check with my cousin and make arrangements at the convent in Laguna.. ok lang naman kina sister supe yun eh! you will be most welcome there.
siya: ano? sa kumbento? ano ka sira? yoko dun!
ako: huh? soul-searching ika mo? where else can you find a serene place kundi dun! maganda doon.. very quiet and the sisters will not bother you - they'll pray for you pa 24/7! ayaw mo ba nun? they can help you find your path, if ever...
siya: ayoko. ayoko dun! gusto ko sa ano - sa baguio kaya...
ako: ah okey din dun... malamig pa.. i can arrange din if you want me to...
siya: ano ka ba? okey lang - ako na lang...
ako: (maybe my friendship is just "pulling my leg" ika nga).. o siya bahala ka... basta if ever na matuloy ka - give me a call and let me know where you are so i can give you some numbers to call if you needed some "help" sa soul-searching mo.
siya: okey - thanks...
ako: eh - maitanong ko lang, what would you do if ever naman na matagpuan mo na soul mo?
siya: ewan ko.. siguro - i'm gonna say "hi".. where have you been?
ako: (note seryoso pa rin si friendship!) anong "hi" ka dyan??
siya: eh hindi ko pa nga rin alam kung ano magiging reaction ko if ever eh!
ako: tadyakan ko kaya si friendship?!?! pero mukhang seryoso naman , so hinayaan ko na lang. baka naman totoong "lost soul" nga siya... baka nga need niya talagang magsolo for the meantime. my friendship has been through a lot na rin the past years - she's a bit "self-less" you know. siguro itong "soul-searching" niya is the time that she wanted for her self.
watching my friend sitting quietly on the sofa, i wish i could help her go through this - whatever she's going through. she really seemed troubled of sort, pero she wouldn't talk to me about whatever is bugging /troubling her... she was even laughing and goofing around, but i sensed that it was a just a facade to hide the real emotions she is feeling within. i saw the sadness in her eyes - her eyes that used to glow even with the corniest of joke - and when she looked at me, i felt as though she was reaching out.
siguro my fault - kasi whenever she would come and tell me something - i most often than not - would only tease her - na para bang wala siyang karapatan to feel sad or bothered ba. i would often say: "hmm ikaw pa!" and she would then just laugh it off, so i really didn't know what was in her mind those times she came to me.
I think now i would really be a friend to her...to be just there for her...
to my friend, always remember i am here for you - will always be here for you.
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